Alcohol and Frustration - I'll Die From Of Them

The new kids are killing me. My liver has probably undergone irreparable damage. It's freaking ridiculous how much they actually go out. Thank god I have that English teaching job. Otherwise I would be dead in the water when it comes to finances. But it's nice to start over again. I'm learning how to change the undesirable aspects of my personality more and more. Moving around so much has finally born fruit and its exposing me to people I'd never talk to otherwise.

On the other hand, a concept from my past has started to come back into relevance. I used to talk about having the Clarity. Perhaps a vestigial remain of my pseudo-buddhist days, it was essentially a limited form of enlightenment. Clarity is the concept of being free from the desire for relationships. Interactions and friendships would be merely that and enjoyed for their own merit.

Celia sent me this great link that puts its two cents in on the neverending asshole vs. nice guy argument.

http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

The writer distinguishes between real nice guys and the nice guys who only claim to be so and exhibit douchy behavior when they don't actually get the romantic interest they want. It's really been making me think about where I fall in this continuum. I've always considered myself a genuinely nice guy but lately I've started to see myself start friendships with girls with a clearly superficial or alterior motive. It kinda makes me frustrated with myself.

Going back to the Clarity though, I've been drifting further and further away from it. The behavior i noted is completely opposite to my ideal state of mind and I need to figure out how to start "enlightening" myself again. Or maybe I just have to give up. After all, Christine came along right when I had thrown in the towel for getting into a relationship this summer.

I've been getting lunch with a girl named Hannah at this Japanese-y noodle shop down in Kennedy town. The food is pretty awesome and we get to do our juicy little gossip. Apparently all the guys are crushing on two half-asian girls, Chloe and Melissa. It's funny how most guys tastes mesh together like that. I'm glad I'm not in that rat race. Someone's gotta lose. But then again, I'm not the best at judging whether you should give up for fight for what you want. Hannah's cool though. She's already involved with Ted so that at least frees up my need for Clarity when I'm interacting with her. It also helps that she's a huge nerd.

I get the feeling the Clarity is starting to come back slowly though. It's not as obvious as before but I think if I keep on keeping myself busy it'll turn out fine.

And it begins again

Who know's what's going to happen in the next few months?

The new kids are here. Like last semester they're from all over the place but unlike last semester they're completely different. There is a new dynamic, but the same ridiculous sarcastic sense of humor that was so well liked last semester.

There's a new guy across the hall named Omar that is absolutely hilarious. He's very random and is really chill. It's cool because we'll open our doors half way and just yell across the hall at each other.

I'm quickly learning not to judge people from their looks. There's one girl who I'll call prospective sorority girl who looks like your typical LA Valley girl but in fact is ridiculously smart and nice. She texted me this morning and we went down to Kennedy Town (down the hill in Hong Kong's mid-levels) and stepped into this random little shop. My Cantonese is still as horrible so we had the waiter choose what we ordered. We ended up with soup noodles that we couldn't finish. So much food.

Wednesday night all the new kids went out to Swindlers in Wan Chai where they have 30 glasses of Carlsbergs for $300 HKD. I chipped in a bit but what ended up happening was the girls kept on offering us drinks because it was ladies night. Omar and I said we'd take an easy night but I felt horrible the next morning.

Subsequently, the new kids are killing me. My wallet is emptying fast and if it weren't for my english teaching job, I'd be feeling really bad about all the money I'm spending.

It also seems like things are repeating too. I kissed a pretty British girl Wednesday night. The problem is is that I don't really know her. What's her story? Her personality? Her quirks? It's all up in the air. It's the same as my first kiss of last semester.

Anyways, we're going to be holding a pizza party today before the exchange party at Paparazzi tonight. It'll be pretty hilarious because the party at Paparazzi is going to be formal so it'll be class and cheapness at the same time.

Cheers!